Navigating the Spiritual Path

August 5, 2013 Divine Love Talk

Guest: Vanessa Benjamin

Topics: Becoming more pro-active on the spiritual path.  Passing tests as you are moving up in consciousness.

Parthenia:…So Kim, today is devoted specifically to you helping Vanessa and myself navigate the spiritual path, because we have been seriously using the tools on transcendence toolbox every day and we’re facing challenges every day.  So coming up on this hour we’re going to be talking about how to become more pro-active versus re-active.  What, also, are we going to be talking about Vanessa?

Vanessa: Just about how the ego is also the false teacher, you know.  You might get over being led by the outer false guru, but you know the real (???) starts when you’re working on the stuff inside.

Parthenia:Absolutely.  So Kim, Vanessa has some specific questions that she wants to ask you.  And I have actual questions, myself, about the initiations on the path and how we can bring more peace into our lives as we are going through these tests and these initiations.  So thank you so much, Kim, for joining us and I’m going to let Vanessa start this, open this up.

Vanessa:Well, for a long time I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere on my path and I was metaphorically hitting head against wall.

Kim Michaels:  I know the feeling. 

Vanessa:And it’s frustrating, you know.  I kind of realized that my ego – even though I thought I got the lesson that the issue wasn’t outside of myself, it was within myself – suddenly I didn’t even realize that I was still subconsciously reacting as if the issue was outside of myself.  And I finally kind of surrendered and asked for some higher help.  I realized that I was the one who was judging myself and I was reacting to my own creation.  I was like Peter Pan fighting his own shadow.  It’s almost mind boggling.  So I wanted to ask Kim – I’m sure a lot of people have this issue – how do people – in the moment – how do they stop reacting to their ego or other sources that are projecting emotions and thoughts that are distressing?

Parthenia:OK. Kim, that was a lot we’re throwing at you.

Kim Michaels:  It depends a little on how you go about the path.  And for me there has always been the two aspects of the path.  On the one hand you increase your awareness, your understanding of the ego, your understanding of psychology and your own psychology.  But on the other hand you deal with the energy aspect of it, which is that you use a spiritual technique to transform the energies in your subconscious mind.  And we’ve talked about this before, but there are four levels of the mind – the identity, the mental, the emotional and the physical.  I have for many, many years used these invocations and decrees that you can find on transcendence toolbox. 

Parthenia:Yes, and we are using them.

Kim Michaels:  And for me that was a very, very big difference on my path.  Because when you reduce the turmoil, it becomes easier to actually see what’s going on.  In other words, the ego is very good at hiding behind these emotional energies and emotional reactions; so you really can’t see it.  You know there is something there, but it’s so foggy you don’t really see it.  So when you use that, the ego can’t hide as easily.  But really, the only thing is what you described yourself, Vanessa; that you come to that point of self-awareness where you actually see what’s going on.  I have been involved with spiritual teachings for many years.  I’ve been trying to teach people various things.  And you can increase people’s awareness of the ego, but the ego is very, very clever at using your spiritual teachings to camouflage itself.   And one of the ways it does this is that it simply says: “OK, my guru says this and this and this is ego behavior.  So if I don’t do that, it means I don’t have an ego.”

Parthenia and Vanessa:  Right.

Kim Michaels:  And if I do all the outer things right and don’t do any of the wrong things, then I’m OK.  But, really, every one of us has a personal ego that’s different from everybody else’s.  So, I can’t really tell you how your ego looks.  You have to come to see it through an inner experience.  Because even if I could tell you in detail this is your ego and this is what your ego does, it doesn’t mean you could see it.  

Parthenia:Um, that’s true.

Kim Michaels:  So, it really has to come to that point where you have that ah-huh experience where you see it in yourself.  Of course, it helps to have some general understanding of the ego and how the ego works.  And that you can help you then switch and say: “Oh, but I’m doing the same thing.”  And many times what we actually do is that - exactly as you said – we are judging ourselves based on this standard we have adopted.  And that standard often comes from a spiritual or religious teaching.  And so when we become aware of that, we can see it.

Parthenia:… Kim, maybe you can help us with this and a lot of the stuff on your website has been very helpful.  I think it’s a matter of accepting where we are.  We are on planet earth. … Stop expecting them to be any different or better.  Then we can just go about the business of trying to navigate our own way through this darkness and madness and chaos and try to bring more peace into our own individual space.  I don’t know, Kim, that’s kind of where I am right now.

Kim Michaels:  One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that the ego has a tendency that whenever you set yourself a goal, whenever you find a spiritual path and hear about the possibility of a higher state of consciousness; it wants instant results, guaranteed results.

Parthenia and Vanessa:  Yes. (Laughter.)

Kim Michaels:  So, it can actually be counterproductive for some people to learn about the ego, because what their egos will do then, it will say: “That means you should be completely free of ego.  As long as you are not, you’re not good enough.”  But the thing is, we have to accept, just like you said, Parthenia, that planet earth is a school room.  And I used to be caught, myself, in thinking for several years, I should be free of ego.  And I was always going around watching myself.  Oh if I did something that was ego, it would be terrible.  Here I am a spiritual teacher.  I’m writing books on the ego.  If somebody exposed that I was doing something ego, what would I do?  I’d shrivel up and die.

And you know, I came to the point where I simply sat down and said: “You know what?  This is enough.”  I accept that I am a spiritual being.  I am growing towards a higher state of consciousness, but I’m also in a human body on earth.  And as long as I’m in a human body on earth, I’m not going to be perfect.  I’m not going to be completely free of ego.  I actually, honestly, have come to believe – I used to think that it would be possible to be free of ego while you were in embodiment – I don’t believe that anymore.

Parthenia:I did, too.  I don’t believe it either.

Kim Michaels:  Because I really think that if it comes counterproductive.  It’s something that the ego can use to put you down for every little imperfection you make.  And it’s a really, really hard state of mind to be in to thing that you have to be perfect.  It’s just excruciatingly hard on yourself.

Parthenia:Well Kim, don’t you think that’s one of the major tricks of the ego is it overwhelms you with this ridiculous goal of being perfect in this body and then it discourages you?  Because I got very overwhelmed.

Kim Michaels:  Well, that’s why they say that discouragement is the sharpest tool in the devil’s toolkit.  And one of the best ways to discourage you is to set up a goal that is so high that you couldn’t possibly live up to it.  And I came to the realization that this is actually not what God demands of us.  And I also realized that when you are in physical embodiment and when you are a spiritual person who is honestly striving to raise your consciousness, what we many times do is that we actually take on things from the mass consciousness.  We take them on and then we transform them and transmute them in our own consciousness by dealing with them on a personal level.  We have talked with people on this show before that have some amazing stories.  And you told your own story, Parthenia, of how you had diseases as a child.  And I honestly believe that you took on – you volunteered to take on that physical disease in order to demonstrate that we can rise above these conditions.  

Parthenia:Yes, I believe that.

Kim Michaels:  And many of us do the same with psychological conditions.  So that’s why I’m saying I don’t think that as long as we are in physical embodiment, we are going to be free of ego.  Because if we overcome one aspect, we take on another.  And so what you can do is you can make peace this fact.  You can make peace with the fact that as long as you are on earth; you are going to be an evolving being, not a perfect being.  And that’s means that you are good enough.  You are worthy.  You are loved by God right now as you are.  And God doesn’t demand you to be perfect.  God just demands that you pay a little attention and when you see a limitation, then you transcend it.

You are sort of keeping an eye on the ego, but you don’t have to go around monitoring every little thought you have and thinking: “Oh is this ego now?”  That takes all the enjoyment out of life.  I mean how – I’ve seen this in myself.  I’ve done it in myself for many years.  I’ve seen it in so many people on the spiritual path.  And it is something that a wise spiritual teacher once called the club of the long faces, where you find a spiritual teaching and all of sudden you are so focused on being perfect that it takes all the joy out of life.  What’s the point in that?


Parthenia:…And Kim, recently I downloaded the material from the Russian conference that you did, which is SO amazing.  Vanessa and I are just ON it.  It is really deep and very helpful and Vanessa put the show together today about navigating the spiritual path and how we can pass every test.  So I’m going to turn those over again to Vanessa.

Vanessa: I just wanted to go back into how – Kim, you were talking about how the ego would use the teachings on your website to kind of like thwart you on your path.  And that happened to me for a good year.  I spent so much energy.  I spent so much time into trying to fit and conform into this idea of what a spiritual person looks like.  And thankfully, it all fell apart.  I was wondering why is that you can’t change your behaviors in a way to try – you know, as a way of trying to change your consciousness?  Why doesn’t that work?

Kim Michaels:  I’m not sure I follow you.

Parthenia:You might need to clarify the question.

Vanessa:I was trying to change my behavior as a way to try to change my consciousness.  I thought that if I changed my behavior, then everything else would follow.  But it didn’t work that way.

Kim Right, I understand.  Well, that’s because when you look at the four levels of the mind; the behavior, your outer behavior, is at the lowest the level, the physical level.  And it’s a hierarchical structure.  So, at the top you have your sense of identity and it sets certain parameters.  And then your mental body, your thoughts, will be within the parameters defined by the identity; your emotions within the parameters set by the two higher bodies and so on.  So you’re starting at the bottom trying to work your way up and it is possible to have some changes that way.  But changing you’re outer behavior isn’t necessarily going to change your consciousness.  I mean millions, if not billions, of religious people have proven that.

And so, many people try to live up to this outer standard, what it means to be a good Christian or a good ascended master student.  And there are some people that can actually manage to do this, change their behavior very well; but they don’t become more loving and kind.  They, in most cases, end up being more judgmental because now as they struggle to keep up their facade of changed behavior, they become very judgmental of other people who are not living up to the standard they are holding themselves to.  And this becomes – I don’t know when I got cut off before - but it becomes what some people call the club of the long faces, where you are not being more joyful on the path.

And really, if you raise your consciousness; you should become more free and more joyful.  But that really is a decision we have to make to realize that it isn’t about changing the behavior.  It requires something more.  And that’s then when we need to use the tools to go a little deeper.  And we also need to realize it takes time, because in our society we are so used to: “Everything should happen very quickly.”  And it just doesn’t with the spiritual path.

Vanessa:Yeah, I always wanted to have that instant gratification.

Parthenia:That’s your generation.

Kim Michaels:  Well, I don’t know if it’s just her generation, because I think in the west we have what I call the push button mentality.  We are used to if you go into a dark room and flip a switch on the wall, the light should come on.  If it doesn’t, there is something wrong.  So we are used to this technological, mechanical result.  And that’s what the ego will then try to apply to a spiritual teaching and say: “Well, if this teaching is as good as it says it is, then I should have instant results.”  And then when you don’t, you get discouraged and you start blaming the teacher or the teaching, or you start blaming yourself, and all kinds of things.  You go into these negative reactions.  And you have to really then step back and say that just isn’t a realistic expectation.  It’s an ego-based expectation.  And it will take time to have results.  But if you keep going, you will have results.  I’ve seen this in so many people over the years.

Parthenia:Well I think that is the key, Kim, is persistence and knowing that it is a practice … When we come back from commercial break, I would like to look at and talk a little more about some of the tools, specifically the violet flame and the invocations.  And clearing the chakras, Kim, so that we can bring more balance into our lives.


Parthenia:… today looking at navigating the spiritual path and how you can pass every test.  Kim, I learned from your website that that was one of the sayings that early Christians used to say to each other whenever they were parting.  May you pass every test.   … the movie, The Contender … She stood very steadfast in her resolve and in her calm.  I would like to be like that.  

Kim Michaels:  We all would.

Parthenia:I’d like to know some more tips on how we can – this whole initiation thing.  It was very helpful listening to some of the material on your website and understanding that all of us have initiations.  And one of the initiations that the higher you get on the higher path, is that you will be accused, publicly accused and ridiculed of things that you did not do and your character will be attacked.  …  I know that we have to pass that test.

Kim Michaels:  Yeah, and I think – I mean I’ve experienced the same thing and I think – I don’t think everybody has to go through it.  It depends a little bit on what our public role is.  But the test has always been, if you look at it historically, to remain non-attached to the outer attacks that come at us, the outer challenges.  And what the ego wants to do internally is it wants to force us to react to these outer situations in some way that causes us to go into a struggle, thinking that we have to prove them wrong when they are trying to prove us wrong.  Those kind of things.

There is a wonderful story that has always inspired me, of Gautama Buddha who, after meditating for a number of years, had finally reached this point where he was ready to go into Nirvana, which is a higher state of consciousness.  And his last test was that all of the demons of Mara, which is the name for the lord of this world, what Jesus called the prince of this world.  They were allowed to challenge him one last time.  And when I meditated on that, I had a real epiphany one time.  And I realized that what they were trying to do was to get him to react in some way.  Because if he had reacted in any way, it was proven that he was not ready to leave the earth behind.

And it’s the same thing the ego does to us.  It’s the same thing other people or dark forces will do.  They try to force us to react to them based on their terms.  And the eternal challenge we face – you know, we as spiritual beings, we have a right to be here on earth and to express our spiritual individuality.  But what the forces of this world will come at us with is: “No you don’t have a right to be here.  You don’t have a right to express your spiritual individuality.  You should conform to our standard.  And if you don’t, we’re going to come at you with everything we have.”  And the only way to really pass that test is to realize what’s going on and be completely non-attached, because you realize that their standard is unreal, it has no reality in the higher mind.

Parthenia:Right.  Absolutely.  And you know, I woke up this morning, Kim, and I had listened to Guru Ma.  And she was talking about her attachments to her organization and how you really have to let go of every single thing on this earth that you’re attached to, if you want to go to the next level.  And I woke up actually forgiving all these people, who have falsely accused me and who have attacked me and who have tried to put out my light, and thanking them for presenting me that test so that I could clearly see it and know it as I approach it the next time and pass it on the next level.  So it really is something when you create that awareness to be grateful for that these person played those roles for you.

Kim Michaels:  Yes, because what are they doing?  They are giving you a perfect opportunity to see if you are reacting to them.  I mean I’ve had a period for several years where there’s been a group of people trying to discredit me personally on the internet.  And what I did was, I didn’t go into this outer battle with them on the internet.  But in myself, for a time, I was feeling somewhat paralyzed; because if I didn’t say anything to counteract what they were saying, they could say anything they wanted about me and get away with it.  Because there was nothing that people could compare it to.  But I also realized that no matter what I said, it would just perpetuate this dualistic struggle.  And so what I did instead was I said: “Well, look at yourself first and look at your reactions.  Why are you feeling this way?”

And I realized that it was just like we talked about earlier.  I had come to a point where I had become somewhat of a spiritual teacher that had some public presence, even though I’m not very well known.  But still, I had in my mind this public image that I was trying to protect and defend.  And I realized this is the perfect cover that my ego is hiding behind.  And this is the perfect opportunity to look at this and say: “Why am I attached to my public image?  Why do I even feel that I have to have a public image?  I know who I am.”  And I express that in my writings and in my actions.  And if people want to distort that, that really says more about them than it says about me.  And I think many people can see when someone is trying to be negative and they are biased.  And I just realized I didn’t really have to worry about it, you know.

Parthenia:You’re absolutely right, because the reason why - I’ve told you - I went to that conference in Australia last year to meet you, was because I had been reading all this stuff on your website.  And then I always like to meet the person to see if they are walking the walk.  Because I don’t care about you talking the talk.  And people when they – I feel the same way – If you know me, people who know me know who I am…

Vanessa:I know, I think especially in the west, especially in Hollywood – I grew up in Southern California my entire life, you know.  And we all have this idea that we have to put on airs all the time.  And you’re always trying to defend an image.  And that is something that I’m still working on and I definitely have not gotten – I haven’t gotten that lesson.  But knowing that both of your guys have gone through that and you’re OK, it gives me hope.

Parthenia:Kim, go on.

Kim Michaels:  Well, it’s very true that it’s like – it’s really a question of – there are some people that – and this is one of the most basic ego games, is that the ego creates a scapegoat and then it seeks to destroy the scapegoat as an excuse for people not looking at themselves.  That’s basically one of the most ancient ego games played.  And you see that actually in the western media.  There is a clear tendency that they know that drama sells.  So they will build up a person to be a hero, because they can tear him down again.  Building up and tearing down creates drama and that’s what people, at least some people, want.  So we can see this in the media over and over and over again.

Parthenia: … Now, Kim, in terms of passing every test; there are tools, there are things that we need to do that will help fortify us.  But one thing that I noticed, and Vanessa and I were talking about is: we can use the tools and get immediate results, especially with the violet flame and the invocations.  And then it’s like the light just drains out of us.  I didn’t understand it until I listened to the Russian material and when Helen was doing the one on Archangel Uriel, where – or maybe it was Serapis Bey, where they were talking about the aura.  And how when you’ve been traumatized, or you’ve been emotionally or physically abused or tortured; your aura gets holes shot in it and then your chakras get blocked.  And I can clearly see that that is what has happened to me with all the traumas that I’ve gone through as a child, at work, with the physical and emotional attacks.  And the light just seeps.  And it drains out.  And so I’m feeling this need to constantly be in a state of prayer and protection, which I don’t think is a bad thing.  But what I’d like to ask you is: “What can we do in terms of clearing the chakras?”  Because I know in the eastern practice, it’s all about the seven chakras; and your work is about the seven rays, which relate to the seven chakras.  And I know my solar plexus chakra is blown.  It is shot, because I go into anxiety and panic attacks, especially dealing with all the craziness that I have to deal with at work.  So, is there any simple advice that you could give us in terms of a practice?

Kim Michaels:  Well, yes, I mean there is, obviously, the tools where you could use the various invocations and decrees.  And the solar plexus chakra is one where many, many people are vulnerable.  And it does relate to the sixth ray and there are specific decrees for that.

Parthenia:Which ones?

Kim Michaels:    Well, Archangel Uriel is the sixth ray, Nada is the Chohan.  And so, there are specific decrees that you can find.  There is actually a section on transcendence toolbox with decrees to the seven rays.  There are also teachings on the chakras and which ray each chakra relates to.  Many spiritual people have a sense of which chakra they are vulnerable, because they have a feeling of discomfort.  For example, when I was young, I had a period where I had a physical pain in my solar plexus chakra that had no physical cause.

And it actually started – I was actually on a meditation course and I was meditating more than normal and probably more than I should have.  And one day it suddenly was like a knife was stuck into my solar plexus area.  And it was a completely spiritual, psychological cause.  And then that lasted a couple of years and one day I was just meditating.  And I suddenly felt the presence of an ascended master and he showed that my solar plexus was rotating the wrong way and this was causing me agitation.  And then I actually made a prayer to him to help me and I felt like there was a hand that reached down and stopped my solar plexus chakra from rotating the wrong way.  And then it started rotating the opposite way and I felt completely calm after that.


Parthenia:… So let’s review this very quickly, Kim.  What I got from your last comment, and I’m certainly gonna use it, is to surrender to our higher self and to help from the ascended masters.  Every religious tradition has some kind of master, whether it’s Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad or whatever.  But we’ve got to surrender.  And all Christians are aware of angels and my experience in calling out to them is that they do answer.  And I find that they answer immediately.  So, I will be surrendering and asking for help with my solar plexus.  And on transcendence toolbox you mentioned that people can review the chakras and the seven rays.  Now, can you give the audience – and we have the violet ray, which I’d like for you to touch on that very quickly?

Kim Michaels:  Yeah, the violet flame is basically an energy that is very efficient for transmuting any kind of accumulated emotional and mental energies and all the kind of things that agitate you.  But all of the rays work for that.  And we have a lot of invocations on transcendence toolbox.  There are three that I just want to mention.  There is an Invocation for Loving Yourself.  There’s the Invocation for Clearing the Heart.  And there is a Rosary of Unconditional Love.  And those three are really, really important for most people, because we have – we have been so brought up to think that God judges us and God  doesn’t love us unless we live up to conditions.

And it is so helpful in the healing process to realize that all of these conditions are just defined by human beings and dark forces.  They are not defined by God, because God’s love truly is unconditional.  And that’s so healing to experience that unconditional love.  But many people reject it; because, again, they think they have to be worthy, they have to live up to this standard of perfection before they can accept God’s love.

Parthenia:… Now, Vanessa you have a beautiful thought that you’d like to leave the audience with.

Vanessa:Just to be open.  It’s important to know that you don’t know everything.  And your ego will trick you into believing that you know everything. … Be open to whatever may possibly come, whatever lessons the ascended masters have for you.  Be open and receptive.

Parthenia:And ask for their help.  What has your experience been in terms of surrendering and asking for help?

Vanessa:As soon as I surrender, I get exactly what I need.  It’s never expected, but it’s exactly what I need.

Parthenia:Totally.  And Kim, I’m going to let you close it out.  We’ve got 60 seconds.

Kim Michaels:  One of the real problems with Americans is that we have all been programmed that winning is everything.  And surrendering sounds like we are losing.  But in the spiritual game, you actually have to surrender to win.  The more you surrender, the more you win.



Copyright © 2013 Kim Michaels


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